Long day

Working really wears me out big time. I really dread going to work most days now. it’s like it’s not fun for me anymore, not like it used to be.

Sadly I have to look forward to is coming home and sitting down to write, knowing the maybe if I’m lucky I will get a few pages done before the weakness of sleep covers over me like a warm blanket and all I want to do is crawl into bed and toss and turn all night. Cause that’s what happens. I fall asleep sitting here , head almost hitting the keyboard but then as soon as I lay down covered comfortably in my bed. I’m wide awake. Staring into the darkness, trying to see if I can make anything out. but normally I can’t cause my room is super dark. I like it that way. But I can hear the fan spinning feel the cool wind trying to force its way over my blankets that are covering my head by this time. And try to sleep, but with so many thoughts running through my brain it’s no wonder I can’t even fall to sleep. Flashes of the day, ideas for my book, how I’m going to put them in and where. It’s endless and I might get 2 hours of sleep if I’m lucky.

2 hours are better than nothing I guess and if I’m super lucky I will remember everything I thought about before I fell to sleep. the things that would make the book sound better. like last night, I thought of a better way for my main character to expect the quest. Now it’s the matter of getting it into the book. and where. maybe after the challenge and before she goes out on the balcony to see the lighted beatles in the tree…yeah that should be where it’s at. Now to go off and do it.

The last 3 days I have been writing like a fend, so that’s good, trying to make all these revisions and get this sounding really good. But it’s okay, I will get it done soon. I haven’t heard anything back from the first publishing company yet and they said it would be a couple of days and well it’s been a couple of days. and nothing. So I’m wondering the bad and not the good here. 😦

take care and be safe.

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Computer freezes and interuptions…yea

I sat down at 1 pm to write and found that the computer had frozen while it was closed, thank god I’d remembered to save my last bits last night before closing the lovely silver lid. whew…all that work was saved…I would be very upset if it hadn’t. Been cussing and cry at the same time cause when I get into the groove of writing I forget what I’ve written until I go back to read it. It’s like my hands are possessed and they just go on their own. I’m also one of those who look at the keyboard to type, I’m not talented enough to type and read at the same time. But anyway, I think I got most of the beginning fixed and it is sounding much better then it did. It’s got spunk to it, more detail and some things taken out cause they didn’t sound right in those spots. Things us writers do to make their work perfect.

It’ll never be perfect. Never.

I’ll always find something to add or to delete. If I could just leave it alone and submit the damn thing I wouldn’t have to stress over it so much. But as I was writing again, (after restarting the computer of course) I went to the kitchen after an hour to grab a bite to eat and got hit in the face with the most god awful stench coming from the sink, needless to say, I had to wash the dishes cause no on else will do it. (that’s right my room mate is lazy and it pisses me off, it’s not her mess so why should she have to clean it, ah cause we all live here? Duh?) So that took up another hours worth of my time. Then grabbing a sandwich and coming back in here. My daughter decided that she wants to chat while I’m trying to work, (it‘s hard for me to type and talk at the same time) another 30 mins gone and still no writing has continued. After she goes to work, I get a call from a close friend who I haven’t spoke to in a few years and another hour has gone by. (which that one I didn’t mind one bit, I missed her) So back to writing, which I can’t do, due to the computer freezing on me again! God I need a better computer, one with more memory that I don’t have to worry about it freezing, *growls*. That is a nice dream as well…*sighs*

So I spend the next 2 hours deleting old programs that I don’t use anymore, old games and some old photos that I have no use for, duplicates of them aren’t needed. So again it’s now 5:45p and of course I am hungry once again, at least I don’t have to wash dishes or sanitize the counters to make another sandwich. I don’t eat much and I’ve given up trying to make a different meal everyday, only cause I don’t live with my mom anymore and I don’t have the funds to buy what is needed to cook them. She helped with that so I would do all the cooking. nice huh?

Oh, I did do a search today for publishers and as I knew it. I couldn’t find squat. I really suck at searches. I have no idea who is the best and what they really want. Wait, there were two people I did find and both say they don’t take what I write (I read the submission section). If it has fowl language in it, it’s a no go, but here’s the thing. She only cusses at the beginning and stops as the book goes along. So it’s not full of cuss words. Just at the beginning, just the common one’s like damn, shit and ass. Come on don’t be that picky about a few of them. She has to be herself until she realizes that these people don’t cuss. Then she stops as well. Someone give me a chance here, it’s a good book. It’s got a great plot line and tons of good humor. Take a chance on me. (Wow Abba flashed in my head…lol)

So after I finish this entry and restart my computer once again, I will be getting back to writing. Yes I will be at it again and maybe I will get more done tonight if I’m not interrupted with something else…I need a sign that say do not enter, brain at work…lol

Damn, I just remembered that I work tomorrow at 10a…blah. More stress added to my already stressful life. I hate my job…*sighs* I’m still going to write though, I don’t sleep good at night anyway. Might as well take the time and do some work.

Come back soon! Take care and be safe!

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My Goal

This is the journey of an un-published author.

I am set and determined to get my book published and I will devote a whole year to trying to make it happen. My ups, my downs, my sadness and my happiness.

Your all invited on this journey that I will undertake and see where it takes me. If I become published, or do I put the book away and never try again. Because that is what I plan to do. If I don’t get published within a year, then it’s not worth even trying. The book is put away and forgotten and it just means that I was never destined to be a published author. I was destined to work where I am for the rest of my life where I will stay and allow it to slowly suck the life out of me.

Where to start is another thing, who to talk to, Where to go and what steps do I need to take.

Wow, this is going to be harder then I thought.

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